I grew up in a home with a lot of pain and hardship. I clung to storybooks, music, drawing, writing and praying to keep me believing things would turn around, miracles would happen and I would be like any other kid I admired, living in a house with happy parents and contented children. And great peace.
It never came to be. My parents divorced when I was almost 14 and for years. Disappointed and devastated, I saturated my shattered dreams and hopes with friends, popularity, work, music, being the center of making people laugh and unhealthy relationships with boys. I gave up on praying and peace. I just wanted to feel good now. Storybooks, art and praying were things of the past. I found my own ways to deaden the pain and answer my own prayers. But it didn't work for long. I soon became empty, bitter and the holes in my heart grew bigger. Nothing and no one could really fill those sore spots. Thats another story of all the ways, places and people I used to medicate and mend.
Today, as I read this old familiar text, most people know and use around this time of the year for graduations etc., it continues to rings true for me. God does have good thoughts toward me. For good. Not evil. I rely on promises like this while I am still mending, healing, and dealing with fear and worry. I am a scaredy cat by nature. I have never been very brave. I expect the worst even when I wish for the best. I have found God has better ways to give me peace and fill these large holes and scars in my heart. I am learning to take Him at His Word too, which is powerful, alive and true. I surrender my holes to Him. This promise is for everyone. Good, not evil, are God's intentions for us.
"For I know the thought that I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil..." Jeremiah 29